Today is one of those days...
Do You ever try not to dwell on certain things but to feel that you have acheived something it helps tremendously to look
at during those times. I sit here looking back over our last pragnancy in 2008. April was one of those months that I look
and it is a blur and seems at times like it never happened and that I was never pregnant. God is really teaching me faith steps
during this pregnancy. I know sometimes lately I never never just sat and wrote out my feelings so please bare with me as some
of this I may be all over the place..
But as most of my blogger friends know it is great therapy to blog and get your feelings out.. I am actually hoping to print
all of my blogs out and possibly try to write a book at sometime in the future. I was sitting here this afternoon and thought I
usually here recently just write about recipes and updates on this pregnancy..
God Is so good even when we don't understand. I truly believe that even though it may take me a while.. Sometimes in life I guess I
have to go around that same dern mountain before I get to the top of it and on to another one.. Why do we have to be so hard
headed sometimes.. Hey i guess the first step to moving forward is admitting your issues and this is one of mine..
So today we are 23 weeks and 2 days pregnant.. Mom told me and you are gonna me pregnant many more. I said I know mom but
I feel like I have to look at it this way to get over the hump of this week completely.. I look back and can not believe I endured
labor for 5 days and gave birth to a 1 lb 10 oz baby boy who could only fight for 9 days thru the honeymoon period..
Preemies have a honeymoon period and it can go either good or bad.. But either way that experience was an emotional roller
coaster ride with lots of learning experiences to go along with it.. The main thing that I learned was LOVE.. I guess every mother
experiences this but when you know that there is nothing else that you or that the dr.'s can do. you ultimately have to make a
decision that just ain't fair and most are not put in that situation and i pray for those that are faced with that decision.. But I learned
more about love and sacrifice.. There is so many times I thought to myself and prayed Lord please don't let him suffer and help
us all make the best decision here.. And that is when I got a peace that can only come from the Lord.. And sat there and had to let my
baby boy go back to his creator.
okay enough of the sad sobbing story but that is how wacked out my mind is.. So if you are reading this from facebook now
you may understand more of why I am just estatic about each day lately.. I could literally scream yell in excitement but the Good
lord knows i give him all the praise thru it all.. he has made a way where there seemed to be know way.. i thank each of you that are apart of my
life cause without your love and support this would not be a easy as it has been.. God Bless You!
