Howdy!!

hOwDy!! I am in awe of how quick my blog goes straight to my notes on facebook.. That helps from repeating myself 100 times +... LOL!! :) I set that up a while back so if you are on facebook and we ain't friends yet find me or if you are my friend on Facebook and want to catch up on all previous blogs you can go to: bradntiff.blogspot.com

I realize that blogging more often back in the previous days helped me release quirt a bit off my chest.. I need to pick it back up lots more since I am supposed to be taking it easy and not over doing it.. Talking about not over doing it.. I literally am trying not to do too much and I am so grateful for Brad, my moma, and my aunt Rosie for taking time out to help straighten and organize the house tonight.. We even cleaned out my closet so it is now Salem's closet.. Not much in there yet but we have made him plenty of room for his stuff.. I am excited about getting things moved around.. Now we just have to get some furniture moved out of his room to get it painted but we are going to wait a few more weeks for that..

I am so very thankful that I am not in a rush to get things done. Sometimes in life like with Samuel I believe I got the "cart before the Horse" and this time I have been slow to accomplish things.. I have registered at Target and Babies R Us.. I did not finish registrying for everything but necessities.. I guess I have tried to guard my heart and my emotions this go round.. Probably a bit too much.. Brad even says he isn't getting too excited till after 25 weeks.. So we will see..

If anyone has went thru a hard pregnancy and losing a child I am sure you can relate with us.. Going thru that with Samuel was definitly a FAITH TEST! And now that we are pregnant again and already having a scare we are on the edge of our seat as we would be in a scary movie and really having to put our TRUST AND HOPE IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST! I know that I have tried to stay as busy as possible with TV shows, BIBLE READING, hanging out with family, dr. appts, and lots of praying to bypass the WHAT IFS and this next week or so if really a time for me to ponder what the Lord has done for us and not what has not gone our way.. Our ways and HIS ways are usually going in two different diretions especially during tough ruff testing moments which is part of Life... As I have said many times before We would not have been able to handle this with out our Lord Jesus,family, friends, and lots of prayers.

As I write this I think about who may read this and I know I need to say THANK YOU to you.. Cause you obviously have took the time out to follow us and pray for us and took time out to read and care.. THANK YOU..


I am considering going through all my previous blogs and printing them someday soon and using them to write a book.. I know that the Lord has allowed us to go through tests, trials, and life in general to help someone that may cross our path.. If you have known us long enough please give us some inspiration on things that we should not leave out in this book I am wanting to write.. Heck I already asked someone to be the proof reader and who knows if it would even hit the shelves and when but I know God has gave me insight on writing my life story a few years ago while I was in Teen Challenge... What we go thru in our lives is not a mistake but it molds us into who we are becoming good or bad!

Well I have babbled enuf this go around.. I pray that all of you are having a great week and look at what you have this week instead of what you don't!!

God bless YOU!

21 weeks and 1 day.. And takin it easy!!

Hello all! I know that you have not heard from me in a few weeks.. I was gone to my parents all last week cause we had a lil scare about a week and a half ago.. We do ask you for your continued prayers.. We had to go to the Hospital a week ago this past Thursday due to pain, pressure, contractions, Braxton hicks, and a bloody show.. So they kep me Thursday Night and Friday morning to monitor me and Salem.. Yes if you did not know we are having a BOY.. And his name is Salem Joseph Snyder.. Salem means Peace! Lord knows we all need some of that.. Well my dr. was not on call in the midst of Thursday's episodes and Friday's but her partners were so they put me on complete bedrest till Monday and until I could meet with the HIGH RISK DR. and My reg OB..
So I met with them on Monday and with me having the transabdominal cerclage place my cervix is closed at the top but dialated at the bottom.. They want to see me every 2 weeks at the High risk and in 4 weeks to my reg ob.. We are anticipating getting thru the next couple of weeks since I did go in labor with Samuel at 23 weeks and had him at 23 weeks and 6 days.. Prayers are greatly appreciated during this time.. We have discussed as long as I am doing well and get to 35 weeks we will discussed csection for 37 weeks.. Which will be mid December.. We are really looking forward to our Christmas Present this year.. What a JOY to have a baby around Christmas.. We are so excited but trying to remain balanced..
Just cause I am not on bedrest I still have to take it easy and I know my limits and the Braxton Hicks come and go alot at bed time.. I appreciate all of you.. If you have Facebook I am on there updating more and more..

God Bless You!

Almost 15 Weeks!!

Picture above is at 12 and half weeks I believe.. Just a lil bump!!
Well, I have not updated lately and I feel it.. Night Before last I had to go to the ER to get fluids cause I could not quit Puking.. Needless to say We were at the Dr. earlier that day adn they said you dont need to get dehydrated.. Well It happened.. Dr. Visit went very well.. My cervix is finally thinkening up and closed.. 1st visit we got this kind of news.. Which was very exciting.. We also discussed how I am still on pelvic rest and I must rest and sit or lay down when the twingy/ growing pains begin to be more than I can bare.. My body is trying to heal from the surgery and my body is also trying to grow with the baby and it is sending mix signals to my ligaments in my belly.. Needless to say I have maintain my weight in the last month.. I have not lost or gain!

All is well.. We start going to MFG on the 20th which I will be 16 weeks then as well as start my progesterone shots this week as well.. I will be going to MFG (The High Risk DR. 16, 18, and 20 weeks then probably every week after that but my ob did not want to see me back till 18 weeks.. And they were try to other that test to me for then about Downs syndrome and such and I said you know Our God has given us another chance at this and I do't want no test it will not change my mind. I don't believe in abortion anyway..

Well that is the update on me and baby...

I apologize for taking a while but I try to not do too much while I am still on restriction and obviously I am doing right cause things are going well even though they said I was having the signs of hyperemesis(?sp).. now I am just trying to eat bland and often..

I really dont know what I would do with out Brad during this time he is really being good and doing what he can to help out.. Even Laundry.. since I am not supposed to pull and tug and lift still... Even though the cleanliness of the house is not the way we keep it.. I am hoping to have a friend come over tomorrow or one day soon to help me vaccum and change sheets on the bed.. I did that last week changing the bed sheets and I don't think I need to do that again..

Well That is that.. I hope that you all are doing well!! Love You All and thanks for your continued prayers!!

13 weeks Tomorrow!!!

So I am sitting here at the SHOP.. Yeah Mom and Dad's business.. Their receptionist is out today and Monday so I am filling in doing what ever they need me to do.. It felt nice to have today to look forward to... I tell ya being at home I love it but not having any plans whatsoever can be pretty BoRiNg... In between doing things I thought I would update this blog.. Of course no pictures here but if you have facebook and my friend on there you have seen the latest..

So I just had CHICKFILA FOR LUNCH!! Love it.. Grilled chicken sandwich with fries and a lemonade on this hot hot day was so very refreshing!! as I sit here and finally take a moment to recap and regather my thoughts that are all jumbled and what not it is hard for me to remember what I have told and have not told...

LOL... So I will tell you this week is officially starting the 2nd trimester.. I am 13 weeks tomorrow and look about like I did when I had Samuel.. I am so grateful for this Cause I was just 1 day shy of being 6 months with him when I had him.. Lord have mercy on his lil heart I sit and look at pictures of him and just pray that he is looking out for his mommy and lil bro/sis... I know that he is cause I was sick up till Samuel made his appearance.. This time the only time I get sick is when I dont eat right when I feel hungry.. So needless to say I am always eating and drinking on something... No major craving yet..

We would like to take the time to thank all of you for the prayers and support thru this process.. Cause this already is seeming like a very long drawn out process.. Due to the complicating situation I guess we are doing what it takes.. I do have appointments lined up from now till Mid August... and We may know what we are having depending on how still our lil one is by end of July.. Of course we are not doing as we did before by setting up.. I am debating to wait till the end of the pregnancy to decorate or after a healthy arrival of our sweet baby.. It is just to hard to tear down what might have been again.. So I will keep you all posted on a Tea or Welcome Home party that our family and friends plan for us.. We are just playing it all as time passes on.. God knows the final plan in all this the unexpected to us is just his miracle in itself.. All things from above are miracles regardless how long they are here with us..

I kinda feel like I am rambling but in order to save gas and come help mom and dad I had to get up with Brad at 330 this morning and so I have not had time to stop and take my lovely naps I usually try to squeeze in by now.. Mom just says I am going to be good and ready for when they baby gets here... and I do believe that my routines and basic triaining mode is in full force...

Well I do have an appointment this coming week with the wonderful tummy dr.. And I just hope that they can sort thru this Crazy IBS and acid reflux/heartburn situation.. My gallbladder is gone but you would think here lately that it has reappeared with the way my stomach is reacting...

Well.. I will catch yall next time.. Please keep the prayers a going..

Another prayer request.. Is a dear sister in Christ who is out in mission work for the summer overseas... Her name is Ryan Smith.. Please keep her in your prayers.. She just finished up in China and is now in India.. You can follow her at...
www.ryansmith2012.wordpress.com


Love you all very much!!

Howdy...

Long time since a post.. But all is going as well as expected.. Gonna answer a couple of questions and hopefully by the end of the week give you a longer more detailed update!!

We will have to have a cesection for now on.. And to tell you the truth I may even consider being done completely after this one.. Cause it is just alot to take in.. my emotions are a lil all over the place at times not knowing what to expect.. And so far the dr.s feel really good about the placement of the cerclage.. The surgery was challenging and difficult.. I pray that I make it to 37 weeks at least and that is the drs wishes too...

Well.. More shall come soon....

Happy Father's Day and God Bless YOU all.. Thanks for the prayers and keep them coming!!
We are 3 months and 1 day today!!! YAHOO!!

How is my friendly followers doing??

WOW.. I don't even know where to start.. As some of you know and others may not.. I had THE SURGERY last week.. Wednesday May 27th... I was scared and nervous but it truly was not as bad as I had let myself to believe. I guess in life everything is like that though..

So the Trans Abdominal Cerclage is in place and I already have a nice csection scar to show for it...

I promise more pictures and updates will come.. I am just enjoying being out of the hospital after being there for 6 days..

God bless!!

6 week appt. and discussions..

We went to the Dr. this last Wednesday.. We saw Dr. Fortunado... We have discontinued the prenatal vitamins I was on cause something was giving me hives and nausea. And since we have not took those anymore those symptoms have subsided.. As you can see our lil sac is not all by it self anymore.. that little peanut shade is our baby.. He or she had a heart rate of 126. he or she is stubborn in this area like their brother.. The lady thought maybe she would not be able to find it but she did and I was amazed at what one week does for the lil baby.. so much change..

We discussed surgery.. on the TRANSABDOMINAL CERCLAGE... He either wanted to do it at 8 weeks or 16 weeks.. and I was at first the sooner the better.. But in the first trimester there are risks to being put asleep.. So I have prayed and I am going to wait i do believe.. But please pray cause we are looking at hospital time just like as if I had a csection and recovery time.. So we will be doing this around the end of June/ beginning of July.. They had me schedule for the end of this month but I am wanting to wait till the safer time in pregnancy and that is at 16 weeks..This is not a reversiable type surgery so as long as this is successful with this pregnancy I should be able to stay at home and return to normal activities.. which was a blessing and if they do see any signs of complcations I will be staying at Centennial for the Duration but if and what we are hoping for is no complications I will be able to Deliver by Csection with Dr. Moss at MTMC.. So Thank You all for your Continued prayers..

As of Friday (yesterday) we are 7 weeks.. It actually seems like it is moving fast in a way.. Before I have the surgery there is a bunch of cultures that dr. Fortunado wants done so I will go Tuesday to Dr. Moss to have all that done.. Then I will keep my first new OB visit on June 9th and I am sure that I will go to Dr. Fortunado in between.. And before the main surgery they are going to be running a bunch of genetic tests to make sure that this lil miracle does not have the yeast issue or anything that his brother suffered with.. I am really please at the care and promptness in all the Dr.s .. I believe we are all almost on the same page now.. I will try to update soon as I know things.. Thank You all for praying for us...

Confusion Yesterday and so glad today is today!!! Roast Recipe!!!

Hi there!!

Might I start this off by saying I started this blog to vent.. And If you know me I needed an outlet last year to do such a thing.... Blogging is a great way to update our friends and family out of state Of what going on but it is also a great coping mechanism and way to vent as well.. And trust me the last few days I am just having to remain in HIM our Lord and Savior cause I am in a confusion state which we know where that comes from...

THE PIT OF HELL.. SATAN IS A LIAR AND HE HAS AND IS DEFEATED.... iT SEEMS LIKE WHEN yOU KNOW THAT THE LORD HAS HIS HAND IN SOMETHING THE ENEMY USES ANYBODY OR ANYTHING TO BRING DISCOURAGEMENT.. AND SOMETIMES WHEN WE GET CONFUSED IT IS EASY TO SWELL IN THAT CONFUSION INSTERAD OF LEANING ON THE ONE WHO IS REALLY IN CONTROL..

ON TO OUR UPDATE.....

YESTERDAY WE METWITH MY OB.. IF YALL HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING US OR TALKING WITH US YOU KNOW THE SURGERIES AND hsg'S WE HAVE HAD TO GET TO THE POINT OF HAVING A HEALTHY PREGNANCY AND HOW WE WERE TOLD NOT EVEN TWO MONTHS AGO THAT THIS IS A RISKY ISSUE CAUSE THE DR.'S HAS NEVER SEEN AS SITUATION LIKE MINE MEANNING MY ANATOMOY IS NOT ANYTHING THEY HAVE SEEN BEFORE AND THIS IS COMING FROM 3 DIFFERENTS DR.S OFFICE AND SPECIALIST...
Okay I just realized I was still in caps my bad.. but really that shows our or my frustrations all together.
we saw our Dr. Moss my Ob/gyn since I was preggers with Samuel... She is great and is known as one of the best In Murfreesboro area... and she is great.. I am no longer on the suppositories cause they were causing me an allergic reaction and NO MORE BATHS FOR ME... due to my cervix still being open..

Get this thought.. As I have explain before i have two cervixs... 1 to the left and 1 to the right... in my previous HSG tests and surgeries my right side goes no where and my left goes to my one uterus which had a septum that has took two surgeries to break down.. Well... In my ultrasound report that Dr. Moss read it out loud and said it word for word and this is where the confusion comes in... The Gestational sac is located in patients right uterus and right cervix is closed... my mouth drop open and I said but Dr. moss that is not what we have been told in the pass.. she checked me.. and said your Right Cervix is closed but your left is still dialated a bit... I don't know yall... It is confusin.. I looked at her and the nurse that was in there with her and I said look I will Praise Jesus through all of this regardless of the outcome... And i know that He is a Miracle working God and if he has Worked a miracle with my whole set up cause if you remember My left cervix and all is where Samuel was and vaginallly delivered him.. So I don't know I am just telling you the facts I have been given.. I know if there is a miracle that has taken place I want confirmation this coming Wednesday when I go back to my high risk ob... Dr. Fortunado... My Mom canccelled her appt to be with us on Wednesday... Please pray for wisdom, and understanding for these dr.'s.. I don't want the enemy to get a foot hold.. He doesnot and will not be apart of this pregnancy.. We also found out they are going to lean towrds the transabdominal cerclage when I am 10 to 12 weeks along which I am pushin 7 weeks now and so we need complete understanding...
I am praying for them when I become confused or worried cause I know that God has his hand in this... What does Proverbs say and all thru out the bible that God knew us before we were knitted in our moms womb.. He knows our thoughts and our desires... and I know that God is in control of this whole thing and our lives.. It is a daily choice to let him lead it..

anyways.. I love you all and thank you for continuing to follow us and pray for us.. i pray for alot of you often... You kknow I feel when I think about someone I just say Lord, Whereever that person is you know that they need and I pray that they are willing to reciceve it...

Recipe...
Roast
Chuck boneless

about 3 pounder of Boneless Chuck Roast
can of mushroom soup and lipton onion packet mixed in a bowl with half a can of water..

preheat your oven to 350... Put a stick of butter at the bottom of a deep metal pan.. Place your roast on top of your butter.. Then take your mixture of cream of mushroom soup and lipton onion soup mix and water and pour on top of your roast and place in the oven and cook it for about 3 and half hours.. I like mine with Cornbread/ mash potatos / or baked potaoe... YUMMMMMYYYY.....

Well I Pray that you all have a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

GOD BLESS YOU AND HE LOVES YOU!!!

iF THERE IS TYPOS FORGIVE ME NOW.. LOL..

Dr. Appt. 5/5/09 and another recipe...

Okay.. So We went to the High risk Dr.. On the 5th... We are approximately 5 to 6 weeks along.. Above are pictures of our ultrasound. They are so sweet at Maternal Fetal group.. It is unreal how sweet they can be... I feel they are sweeter in the Boro than Nashville but we will see as this journey progresses.. the above black dot is what is called the gestational sac to me it looks like some took black paint and dipped a pencil eraser into it and put a black blob on the screen... And we will be returning this coming Wednesday to see about the Heart.. The lil babys heart is forming this week... it is so exciting.. I can not wait till Wednesday... Tomorrow I have an appt with my regular ob Dr Moss... you kno wthis ast Tuesday I was thinking I was meeting wtih Dr. Fortunado but I was booked in as a new patient and was with there Genetic Specialist Dr.Lenzi.. SHe was real sweet and had alot of input.. According to Dr.'s notes they are leaning towards the Transabdominal Cerclage and Progestorone Shots at 16 weeks which I talked with my nurse today and she said that we maybe starting those earlier.. We will find out more about all this between tomorrows appt and next Wednesday's appt.. There is so much that I feel that I need to finish around here and don't know where to start.. I hope that I keep yall posted as best as possible as this whole road we are on was so unexpected...I am really already blowing up and I don't think I am showing it is just hormones making my tummy blow up... I figured since in my last pregnancy I never took tummy pictures I will start at 2 months along and I am so grateful to already have an ultrasound picture... I just ask that yall pray for us as this transition is hard and we are scared but also trying to get excited but have to stay balanced as we have experienced the odds of pregnancy before... Please pray for my Dr.'s that will be helping us thru this rocess as they have dealt with similar situations as mine but not totally.. So pray for wisdom and knowledge to come forth in this whole process... Thank you all for supporting us and encouraging us already on this unexpected journey..

Jesus does tell us that he can do more than we ask for or imagine.. So I believe he is doing just that..


I have promised some that I would post recipes with my updates....lol.. Enjoy..

I use my slow cooker ALOT... So most of the recipes that i put on here will probably be from the slow cooker bible that my hubby bought me...

Chicken Teriyaki

1 pound of boneless skinless chicken tenders
1 can(6 oz.) pineapple juice
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
1 tablesppon minced garlic
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon molasses
24 cherry tomatoes ( optional) I don't do this!!! Yuckee to me!!
2 cups hot cooked rice

Combine all ingredients except the rice in slow coker.. Cover and cook on low for 2 hours or until chicken in tender and serve chicken and sauce over rice.... Makes 4 servings!! YUMMMMMMYYY!!!

OKAY PRAYERS NEEDED AND A HIGHLY REQUESTED RECIPE...

Okay you see how we went to the dr. on the last update.. well..... I never started this past month.. SO the dr. thought it was possibly stress of April being a one year anniversary since everything happened with samuel... Well they called me in a hormone too try and get me to start.. I was on it for 3 days and it was like my body was rejecting and I was cming down with what I thought was the Flu.. So no this past weekend but the Weekend b4 I finally gave up on Saturday and told Brad to get me somewhere the HOSPITAL.. ASAP... My Left Side was killing me and I could keep nothing dwn.. Come to find out I first found out I was preggers and I freaked out.. Next they called my dr's on call dr and she came down along with a whole entourage of my family and they admitted me for one night to keep me monitored... Needless to say they cut alot of meds out of my daily routine for the babies sake and they were determined to get me well.. Well i was still panicy... MY Ob on call dr and my family physician which is a family friend they partenered up and I am on minimal medicine and feeling lots better.. My preggers hormone on the Saturday was 66 and on monday when we went to visit my dr. it had almost tripled to 191.. Which was great.. I am having to take a supplement for my progesterone cause it is below normal.. and it aint in no pill form... In has to stay in the fridge and I have to do it 2x a day...LOL.. I have to lay down for like an hour after I do it cause otherwise I will have a mess on my hands not literally but I am sure you get the picture..

So I ask that you pray for us as we are all in shock cause it is almost to the day that Brad and I got pregnant with this one on Samuel's first birthday... Well we are basing that off of my hormones.. We should know more tomorrow as I see our High Risk Dr.. Dr Fortunado... Please pray cause everyone just is in shock and about wants to beat us when they find out... So we are nervous about tomorrow and anxious to see what he has to say about it all.. We also have our first ultrasound with him.. Last Saturday it was just too early for them to see anything at the er.. ANd with pregnancies we all know that 1 week or 1 day makes a HUGE difference..

We are praying for a healthy pregnancy and for a healthy baby that we can bring home this time and love on and raise up in the way of the Lord would have us to do so..
I will post pictures and updates as we hoe you join us in this journey of faith..

Thank you all for your support..


Below I have added a recipe that a couple of people were wanting off of facebook so while I can I will be adding recipes as I am loving food these days so much... God Bless YOU All..


Pulled Pork Sandwiches From the Slow cooker bible....

4 pounds of boneless pork lion, fat trimmed
1 can( 14.5 oz) of Beef broth
1/3 cup of worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup of hot sauce


Sauce
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup molasses
1/4 cup mustard
1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons of hot sauce


Directions:

1. Place roast at the bottom of the slow cooker.. combine broth, 1/3 cup of hot sauce and worcestshire sauce... Pour over roast. Cover and cook on high for 5 hours or cook on low for 10 hours.. TILL ROAST IS TENDER...

2. Meanwhile combine all ingredients for the sauce in a large bowl.

3. Transfer roast to cutting board, discard liquid. Coarsley chop roast or as I call it SHREDDIN IT UP.... stir all sherred up roast into the big bowl of mixture...Spoon pork into mixture on to rolls.. We like it on Baked potatos.. whihc i by the easy baker ones the you can zap in the microwave... For us this can last for two to three mills so we think of creative ways...

4/15/2008 Dr. Appt. And More Updates!!

We really do not know where to start.. I have abandoned our blogs and I apologize!!

4/10 We have been staying busy through out this month. I want to take time to let you know that we ended up with almost 300 items to donate to the NICU On Friday.. I prayed over them as I arranged them into clothing Baskets. We also took cake and ballons for them to have in the lounge. I believe we totally overwhelmed them.. And we are planning on doing it again next year for Samuel's 2 year birthday. Please continue to pray for the staff and babies there..
I will try to post pictures soon!! Or you can view them on facebook.. In Samuels Group!!
4/10 We also had some families lose their homes and businesses in the area due to tornados. It is so sad.. On Saturday the 11th we helped a family clean up the destruction that was done to their home for a couple of hours. Needless to say Easter weekend was a trial and we all go tthrough it.
I do ask that you pray for the Bryant Family here in Murfreesboro. The mother 20 and their 9 week old baby was killed in the storms in their home Friday and the Dad John made it through but still in the Hospital in fair condition.
The services are being held at Woodfin's in Murfreesboro at 11 am.. We don't know the family personally but know the pain somewhat of what they are going through and I can not imagine burying my child and grandchild all in one day. SO please pray for comfort for this whole situation.

I know that I am jumping around a bit but I feel that I have so much on my chest that I need to get off and I am sure that some of you do follow us and have been wandering what in the world is going on with them?!?!?! LOL:)

Today we went to the dr... Currently my OB/GYN does nto want to do anything permanently so I wil remain on birth control and as they help me find specialist to help me with my great reproductive issue.. So I pray that you all will pray with us on wisdom.. When I turn 30 and I still want to have my tudes tied or hysterectomy and there is no specialist to be found in this area then that will take place then.. In the meantime we are just praying that God's will be done through it all...

I pray that we have made sense with all of this if you have any ?'s feel free to ask or give your input cause we are still cnsidering adoption and Brad said that he would get fixed too if need be so there is no chances taken...

Well, I thank you alll for your prayers and support!! God Bless YOU ALL!!

Dr. appt 3/26/09

Hi there wonderful family, friends and loyal followers!!

I have alot on my mind that I have no clue how to make sense of all that i want to write so I hope that once I type this and proof read it that I will make some kinda sense in it all!!

As most of you know that yesterday was a big day at the Dr.'s office for us. We were there about 3 hours with couple of different rooms and waiting periods in between. And let me tell you that office had some entertainers in the waiting room area!! Lord have mercy on those boys that were up there with their sister or friend that was pregnant.. I believe that they should have stayed in the car but they gave us all a great laugh trying to video tape everything that was going on...

Anyways on to our appt... We get there early and on the way there I was nervous but at peace. sat in the waiting room praying and just peace came over my nervousness.. Yes my palms were still sweating and all but I had a peace.. and I know that kinda of peace is only from God..

So we get back to the room and they start doing all the measurements for Dr. Fortunado.. He was busy as always so they sent me back out to the waiting room for him to have time to review it.. Then after about 30 minutes they call me back to another room and continue measuring the cervix and uterus and they did this all in 3d and 4d at this point and 2d.. And as they were in there was still about 5 to 6 cm of Septum left in my uterus which keep in mind I have already had 2 surgeries to break that wall down and my cervix is so wide and dialated.. And i knew once he was in there looking at it. And I saw his facial expressions and let me tell you my bluntness came on out.. I said can it be done and he said out of all the cases that has been unsuccessful it is the bicorniate utuerus. Which is what I originally have even still after all the surgeries cause the septum tissue ins comiing back togetheror they just can not get it all. He said with my cervix so wide there is a chance that I could still go into preterm labor and the abdominal cerclage would not hold the baby and membranes in there. NO GURANTEES!!! so I said "say that I take the chance"... He said you would be looking at multiple visits a week and in the hospital 6 to 7 months of your pregnancy if not the whole time if you make it to 40 weeks. And I just said then IS this really Worth it.. HE said I can not promise you anything and that will have to be your decision..... DON'T WE LOVE DECISION MAKING AND BEING A GROWN UP?!?!?!? In the mean time he said that he was going to get with my doctors one more time and tell them what he saw and how he would not know till he got in surgery if the transabdominal cerclage would even work.. I said you do that and I would like to know their input and I said in the meantime I will be praying and he said you need to do alot of it.. And I know deep down that sruck something in me that I just know that there is decisions that have to be made...

So on April 15th I will be going to my reg OB/GYN Dr Moss to see about getting my tubes tied. Please pray for us as this news is not what we wanted to hear but we know that God has a BIG plan in it all and he can work miracles!!!

We are also already talking about adoption and a puppy in the meantime since adoption processes take forever..
I thank you all for your support, love, and time of listening to us throughout all of this...
I will be keeping you updated on our lives as we staart a whole new journey in life... God Bless You and I pray that you all have a blessed weekend!!

Updates Coming Soon!!

I have not been home much and on the go quiet a bit.... I figured I would have a lengthy update for you later on this week after my Thursday appointment.. Please pray for me as my nerves are uneasy but I also have a peace within.

Also we have got upto 132 items to donate so far with less then 2 weeks left for collecting this yr.. Please check out Samuel's Legacy site at: http://www.sosdrive.blogspot.com

I want to thank you all for your support and prayers as Thursday I know will be some final answers of which journey we will embark on next.. God bless you all..

Please pray for Bentley!!

Please Pray for Bentley and check this site out of how they are helping and giving back!!

Please pray for Bentley!!

Please Pray for Bentley and check this site out of how they are helping and giving back!!

Check it out!!

Hey yall we got about 20 more donations this week please follow up at:
http://www.sosdrive.blogspot.com

Thanks and God bless YOU!!

Dr. Appt. 3/12/09

Hello....
I really am going to try not to make a pitty party out of this but the appointment yesterday was not very good, positive, or conviencing. I feel like once again I am on a verge of just another broken dream. We all know that God is in miracle working business and he also knows our best interest as well. It seems like when you are down sometimes you get way down before we either ask for help or he picks us up.. I am starting to gather that God must really think we are really strong all of us to endure some of the things that we do..

So about the appointment..

We arrive a lil early and Dr. Fortunado is one busy Dr. but so thorough and awesome.. The Nurse goes ahead and does the out ab ultrasound and then the inter vag ultrasound to gather ALL the measurements needed.. He came in there and looked over ALL the measurements and then he want to do gyno exam.. For thosse of you joining.. (I have been thru 2 surgeries to Correct my bicorninate uterus and I also had a Vaginal septum as well that had to be taken down So I actually have 2 cervix as well a right and left. The left goes to my almost normal uterus now and my right goes to nothing it is just hanging out there.. Tissue that has a dead end and goes NOWHERE.) So while he was doing the pelvic exam to look at it.. He said Your right one is the one that goes nowhere correct?!??!?!? I said Yes Sir.. He said that is too bad cause that is perfect side to use for a vaginal cerclage.. And I knew then that things were not looking good.. I gathered my composure and I said while what about my left side?!?!?! He said well it is still very wide and dialated and there is just no way the we could do a vaginal cerclage.. I said well what about there other the transabdominal cerclage is that even a option and he said I am not sure lets try the other ultrasound machince next door of course it did not give him anymore hope and he looked one more time.. It was awful to be poked that much and they kept on apologizing but i was like I am willing to do what ever it takes and I want this to work or I want to know if it isn't.. He was puzzeled and said we some women we are able to do transabdominal at 18 weeks pregnant and I looked at him and I asked would I even make it that far till I could have that procedure and he said and then just said that I want a 3D visit in room in Nashville cause Murfreesboro did not have the 3D machine... And he said I want to get one more look and in the mean time I am going to get your surgery records in complete detail and Dr. Moss' opinion as well.. I said Yes sir.. I trust you all with all I have and I am not going to take the chance of getting pregnant and misccarrying.. I rather just have everything taken out then do that to myself again or my family... I go to Nashville On the 26th for the 3D ultrasound.. PLEASE PRAY FOR US..
So needless to say I have cried and screamed and asked God once again and I am so glad that Brad is supportive and my mom was there and all my family is praying.. I just am thinking of that Garth Brooks song right now as I type this is SOME OF GOD'S GREATEST GIFTS ARE UNANSWERED PRAYERS...
As bad as I have had baby fever lately and so anxious to hope to try again maybe God has a whole nother way for us to fullfill our parenting dream such as adopting.. Who knows?!?!?! He obviously has the best for our hearts and lives He is our creator but it is still a hard pill to swallow right now..
Pray for my sanity..
Thanks so much and I will be putting more donation pics up soon.. We have had alot donated this week.. Thank YOU Jesus!!
I pray that you all have a blessed weekend... Thanks for your prayers and support!!

So.....

Okay.. We have our new modem in and thank GOD...

Today is one of the most nerve racking days for me.. In a lil over 4 hours I will be at the specialist at MFG to see the measurements of my cervix and uterus since my surgeries.. Please pray.. I have not been this nervous since going in Early labor and delivery with Samuel.. I have prayed and been sick on my stomach cause that is how my nerves react.. Brad even prayed with me and that is far and very few in between times... I believe that he maybe nervous too..

Whatever the results is whether..1) Major surgery= Transabdonimal Cerclage
2) Wait until I am pregnant and cerclage after 12 weeks (but we have a problem already with this cause I am still dialated quiet a bit a year later almost)
3) Get told it is too risky period.. Which that would definitely be a hard pill to swallow b/c I want another baby and have another experience and a good experience.. not gine birth and lose the child and bury within 2 weeks of all of it.. but I know adoption is out there.

I don't know God will give me peace once I know more today but it is awful before you know.. I used to get my hopes up so high on things in life that when everything happened with Samuel that I have gone a whole nother extreme.. I feeel like I should expect for the worst and hope for the best.. I don't know..

I am just jumping all over the place but I tell you this is nerve racking!!!!

I do want to ask yall to pray for this day to go well and for me to recognize God once again through it all.


Prayer Requests:
-Today's Appointment
-my Friend Laura she is 28 weeks today and doing great PRAISE GOD.. On Bed Rest but doing FANTASTIC!!! Her other two children ( which her son J.D. Was Samuel's neighbor so I am partial to this whole family)and her sisters baby came at 28 weeks and so she as well as all of us are praying for her to go futher than ever before and I hope she goes FULL Term.. It is a Boy and his name is Conner.
- Also my friend Mollie is pregnant as well and her twins came early at 21 and 23 weeks last year.. Aubrey did not make it and Daxton is a fighter... Daxton was in the same unit as Samuel as well. Mollie is pregnant with a baby boy Tyler and I ask that you pray for her to go alot futher and possibly to full term is what we are hoping and praying for.. She is I believe on 18 or 19 week..
-6 month old baby Lily and JJ which is in 8th grade with pnuemonia.Boht in very Critical Care.

Please continue to lift up all the sick baby and chldren in this world.. us mommy's and daddy's don't like and it is hard to bear..


Well that is all for now.. I am sure I will be back on to update you with the latest.... Have a fabulous DAY!!

Hello....

Sorry... I really don't know how long my internet is going to last right now..

I pray that all is well with you..

We are still have internet issues.. I pray to address the issue this afternoon..

We are one month away from when Samuel would be celebrating his 1st birthday. I thank God that he is giving me friends, family and new people in my life to pray for me as I am really struggling but have a peace.. Not sure how those 2 go together but the do.. God is so good.. Please keep in mind that we are still celebrating his birthday in a unique way.. Please check out the blog at...
www.sosdrive.blogspot.com

Thanks and God Bless YOU all..

SORRY Technical Difficulties...

Today is March 7th, 2009....
We are without internet service we do not know why we are without it
but this is the second modem that AT&T has sent us and it has failed us
once again.. I am really hoping to start to work from home once our
new computer comes in.. Don't know who I will be working for but I
know I will not be held as a reliable worker if these dern modems keep
on failing.. I hate it.. And so does Brad cause he likes to play his PS3 and
XBOX online gaming.. So tonight as we are with out internet and we
have been watching AUSTRAILIA. It is undoubtly a wonderful movie.

Today it was 70+ degrees out and absolutely beautiful. We had our
windows open, did laundry, finished up some Bar-B-Q, and we
worked outside a bit.. It was wonderful to spend sometime together
just Brad and I..

God is so good in so many ways!!!

I am typing this on the notepad until I am able to copy and paste it
to our bloggin' area. I pray that you all are having a blessed weekend.

Please continue to pray for Jacob's Family.. As they had the memorial
service today.

We are doing well this way and always keep your eyes on JESUS... God
bless each of you!!


For a moment I am able to get on and post this.. But now you know why we are not able to post if we don't for a while... Smile and be blessed this next week!!